For the most part, these are notes written by applicants as part of their applicant quest.
They have not been edited, and in fact, may not all be complete, as we had to use the notes
we had on storage to compile them. If a story/note you wrote is up here, and you would
like it removed, please contact Akael. Thanks for all submissions!

From: Thamopolis
Subject: 12 steps to The Righteous Path
Date: Tue Jun 17 21:38:27 2003

Step 1: Realizing the evil of your ways
Step 2: Identifying the evil behaviors anf correcting them
Step 3: Listing the people that I have hurt because of my evil choices
Step 4: Makin amends with all people previously mentioned
Step 5: Devoting myself to the healing of others
Step 6: Pledging my loyalty and service to others of the Righteous Nature
Step 7: Protecting the innocent from forces of evil
Step 8: Being charitable in all ways to the less fortunate
Step 9: Working to rid the Realms of evil
Step 10: Working day by day to keep my oaths and pledges to all
Step 11: Making sure Dirty Carrots don't fall into the wrong hands!
Step 12: Looking out for young clerics and guiding them to Righteous path
instead of the Evil one

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Vanyla
Subject: Have a very Vany Christmas!
Date: Thu Dec 23 14:17:47 2004

Have a very, Vany Christmas;
It's the best time of the year
I don't know if there'll be snow
but have a pint of beer

Have a very, Vany Christmas;
And when you login next week
Say Hello to clerics you know
and every mudder you meet

Oh
ho
the mistletoe
hung where you can see;
Some cleric waits for you;
Kiss him/her/it once for me

Have a very, Vany Christmas;
and in case you didn't hear
Oh by golly
have a very
Vany Christmas, this year!

(Seasons Greetings to you and yours... keep safe. -Vany)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Eloihana
Subject: Story

Over the hills and faraway in a time long lost to Father Time
(he is old and forgetful afterall) there lived three clerics. These three
clerics were named Kellandra, Clara and Giko. They were not ordinary
run-of-the-mill clerics (oh no!), these clerics were vewy, vewy speshul!
Kellandra was speshul for a great many reasons but primary amogst those, was
the legacy of her utmost allergy to the horseradish . . .

One purrdy afternoon, Kellandra was frolicking in a clerical fashion around the
fields near the house of the three clerics. Suddenly she tripped over something
and fell down to the ground. When she looked back, she saw what she had tripped
over... a horseradish! 'Ooooohhh!' said Kellandra, 'a horseradish! It looks so
yummy I shall have to eat it right here and now and not stop till it's all
gone!!!' So, she did just that. she pulled it from the ground and chomped
down on the vegetable.... She began to gag, and cough and choke and
splutter and... Oh no!! Her dimple had turned into a pimple!! Oh how
Giko and Clara laughed when they saw it and heard her tale... but soon
Kellandra got her revenge on them and both were to suffer at the hands
of strange encounters... Next was Clara...

Clara liked nothing more on a Tuesday afternoon than to go down to the
graveyard and play animate-the-dead-and-make-them-dance-amusingly. This
was indeed her most favouritest of all games in the whole wide world!
Now this day did just happen to be a Tuesday and when afternoon came, she
put on her 'anti-zombie-splatter-goggles'(TM) and her noseplug. Skipping
lightly down the path, she arrived at the graveyard. Wasting no time,
she dug out her crowbar and merrily broke into the first tomb she
found. Clara giggled in glee as she noted the pretty corpse she found
inside!! Casting the spell she stood back and watched as Harry (she never
read the tombstones for their real names but liked to give them new names
so they felt speshul and wanted :P) arose. She worked him into a slow
waltz first to allow him to warm up a little. Once Harry was into the dancing
groove and shaking his bootie like a big-time pro she started him into the
breakdance setting!! Clara did love it so when the zombies did that! Obligingly
Harry got down on his back and began to spin, and spin and spin and spin and
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee.... his head came loose and with a squishy sound went flying
up in the air! Clara was bouncing up and down by this time with utter delight.
However, she overlooked one thing... Harry's head.... THUMP!!... Harry's
disembodied head came flying down and thwapped on top of her. She was covered
head to toe in zombie brains . . . icky sticky squishy fishy zombie brains...
Clara was less than pleased by this point... and the smell didn't go away for
weeks.. how the others laughed. However, a few days later, it was Giko's turn
to suffer horribly...

Clara and Kellandra had gone shopping, so had left Giko to tidy the house.
Giko whistled a pretty tune as he dusted the shelves and surfaces, wearing his
favourite pinafore and using his spushul duster. Just as he was about to go
and water the houseplants, there came a knocking at the door. Giko set his
feather duster down on the sideboard and went to answer the door.

When he opened the latch, he saw an old lady standing on the doorstep.
'May I help you, old crone?' he enquired, somewhat warily as he had never
seen this woman before. 'Yessss, you maayyy help me, young clericlet!'
croaked the old witch... 'I come with a riddle! If you answer the riddle
correctly, then I shall grant thee a boon! If you answer wrongly, then
I shall turn you into a piglet and poke you with sharp pointed sticks!!!'
She then laughed in a megalomaniacal fashion for a moment.... MUhhahahU
AaahhagahuiuaahhBwaahahahahah! (a bit like that, only wartier)
Giko was feeling a little brave and thought he was sure that he could outwit
the crone and receive the boon of which she spoke. 'Very well, crone!' he
quipped, 'Give unto me the riddle!' The old crone began....
'This riddle is simple
It's not very long
I didn't promise it would make sense
I hope you get it wrong'

'Umm' thought Giko. 'Errr Ummm hmmmm' he could think of nothing... So he said
what was on his mind... 'Rotten Old Cheating B**ch!!!'
'Wrong!!' shrieked the old bag, 'You shall be piggified and poked! The answer
(quite obviously) was 'canuckia googleplex!! Fool cleric, it was easssssy!'
And with that, she waved a hand Giko was a piggy! The crone sharpened her
best poking stick....
When Clara and Kellandra got back, they found Giko on all fours making
odd noises... 'Oink! Oink' he gibbered... Clara and Kellandra laughed lots

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Korvin
Subject: Quest #2

Giko was wandering the Realms, seeking to gain wisdom in his travels. Suddenly
Suddenly, there appeared before his eyes, in a flash of pastel iridescence,
a pixie, quivering with fear.
"Please, kind sir, you must help me and my tribe, or we are doomed." she sobbed
she sobbed.
Giko sat on the ground, and waved the pixie over. "Whatsoever may I do to aid
you? You appear sorely distressed. Please rest on my shoulder, and
tell me your woeful tale."
The pixie alighted daintily on his shoulder, still shaking. "Sirrah, it is ind
indeed a woeful tale, and sad in the telling." Forlornly, she began weeping.
"My name is Sharela, and I am LoreKeeper of my tribe. And such is my tale....."
Giko listened, becoming angrier as she recounted the sad history. A tear dropp
dropped from his eye, in sympathy for her people's plight.
After Sharela had finished her tale, Giko pulled a tiny handkerchief from his p
from his pocket, and gently handed it to her. "Never fear, fair LoreKeeper, my
LoreKeeper, there are one's at my guild that will most certainly help you.
Come with me, and we shall seek the leaders' advice."
With that said, Giko stood. "Now rest, dear Sharela, and I shall shoulder
your burden."
Giko returned to the guildhouse, where he found the 3 leaders in conference.
"Please, I beg your pardons, but this fine pixie requires our unique help."
Everything stopped. Sharela rose from Giko's shoulder, attracting Juliana's
attention.
Juliana delicately put out her hand, and Sharela slowly lowered into her palm.
Sharela started slowly, "I am from a land far past the Emerald Hills.
I am LoreKeeper of our tribe, the Petal Gatherers, and this is my sad story.
Our Queen, Shimmera, has a daughter, Sh'ganna, the most beautiful
pixie child born in generations. She was a beauty to behold." Here, she
started sobbing anew.
"Our princess has been taken from us. A Frog came into our meadow
one day. We, as is our nature, welcomed him as a new friend. But he did
But he did us grievous hurt. The Frog requested an audience of the queen,
of the queen, and she unwittingly granted it. She suspected no evil.
no evil. Why should she? We are Creatures of Nature. The Frog
worked his wily magicks on her, and bewitched her into letting him see
her beautiful daughter. Upon bespying her bathed in the cool moonlight,
he started plaiting the moonbeams, drawing strange figures on the sleeping
face. The Queen was helpless but to watch, entranced as she was. The moon-
The moonbeams became almost solid tendrils of light, and grasped the
still-sleeping infant. Wrapping around her, the beams became opaque, hiding
the view of the panicked Queen of her daughter. The beams ravelled tighter
and tigher, into a spinning ball of light. Then, POOF, the ball dwindled to a
to a speck of nothing, and was gone. The Frog cackled with insane glee.
"She's MINE, all mine, but.... I will give you one chance, and one only.
Bring me the Stone from the Eagle's Eye, Holy Relic of the Damned Clerics.
Clerics. Only then may you have your beloved daughter back." " Here, Sharela
Sharela broke down uncontrollably. Juliana wiped her tears as best she
could.
Juliana pulled the other leaders aside, in quite conference, while Giko comfort
comforted the tiny form.
Turning around, Juliana said, "Of course we'll help you and your people. And
we have the perfect person to send, a new cleric, ripe for the testing, Korvin.
the testing, Korvin."
And here our saga ends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Axory
Subject: Story

A long, long time ago in the ancient city of Varpnul, a young child
gifted with the talents of medical abilities built from within.
Juliana was her name, she was a warrior for the Varpnul army. The army
was lead by her eldest brother Trantos.
Trantos was big on drinking beer, but he was said to be the greatest
warrior in the land, until one day the evil queen of Gueysa Clara
seized Trantos and locked him in the back of the secret library in chains
of imprisonment.
Once princess Juliana finally found out about this she gathered many
warriors and people across the land to save the mighty trantos from the
wicked witch Clara.
As she gathered many people they decided to attack the castle where Trantos
was being held. Once they all reached the castle they found that there was
no way to enter, this made Juliana very, very sad, she had no clue what to
do. Until a very large man wearing black armor, with firey red hair stepped
up and offered to bash the door down. Juliana nodded in agreement for him to
do so. The large man loosened his shoulder and ran the door over. But he not
only knocked down the door, but he severly injured himself. When Juliana cmae
to thank him for his duties his mouth was bloody and he had tears dripping from
murder his eyes, Juliana then used her inner ablity and cured the man. Then the
ey took of to save Trantos.
When they got inside they entered all the rooms but couldnt find him anywere
until Juliana stumbled into a table and it hit a switch to open the secret
library, there Trantos was. Juliana and the others saved him, and got out

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Lunebert
Subject: Clerics over Warriors

We clerics are a funny breed,
We help not only ourselves, but others to succeed.

Not warrior nor vampire can do what we do well,
without our assistance, they would all fry in hell.

We are experts at the art of self-preservation,
Which only adds one branch to our total domination.

Those Warriors, they stand with their blades glinting bright,
Thinking, before it starts, that they have won the fight.

But it is, yes, that very focus,
Thinking that they are the supreme locus,

That is why we can force them to cower,
And thus be defeated, by we, men with valor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Khellen
Subject: Story Time!

Once upon a time Giko was wandering down the foothills of a nearby
deserted desert. He came upon the rotten and mangled corpse of a chicken
which had been mysteriously killed. A quick search resulted in the finding
of a can of soda lying buried underneath the chicken in it's wing. Stumped,
Giko began scouring the lands carrying the burden of finding the chicken's
murderer and avenging it's death. He looked high and low for the wisest
of the wise to help him in his quest, but they could not be found. It was
then that the idea of finding a cheap substitue dawned upon him. He returned
to his guild and consulted Clara, but he found she was too immersed in her
purple bubble bath to be bothered. He decided to seek forth Trantos, but he
was busy slaying something big bad and evil like. Sighing with boredom, Giko
decided to try his luck with Juliana, who promptly laughed at Giko for pursuing
such an innane and pointless journey. It was then that Giko decided that it
wasn't worth it. He decided to finish the last of the soda when he realized tha
the aluminum had been expanded. A passing by mage cast Dragon wit and
Sagacity on Giko and it suddenly became clear to him. The chicken
had drank the soda, and all the carbon dioxide in the coke blew up
it's stomach. Relieved, Giko went to his shared home and lay on his
bed and let out a deep sigh of relief. An irratic roomy walked in and
shouted " I wish you would flipping stop sighing like that, how am
i supposed to do my crappy calculus work!" and then smited Giko.
And then A chicken walked by, saw the corpse and went to found out what killed
Giko....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Minrath
Subject: Minrath's Story

It was an uneventful day in the Guild until Amber caught
Aengil drinking from the guild water fountain.
"NO Aengil!" yelled Amber, "Giko just finished taking his
annual bath in there!"
Amber could see it was too late as the unmistakable look
of nausea washed over Aengil's face as she fell to the ground
incapacitated.
Aengil was rushed to the hospital emergency room, where
attending physician Tartlet pumped her stomach.
As she was releasing Aengil, Tartlet said, "eat a dirty
carrot and call me in the morning".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Yugal
Subject: Annual Animal Wrestling Match
Date: Wed Jun 30 20:14:38 2004

(In the heart of the black forest, Yugal stands alone, looking over a blank
note. Scribbled on the note are instructions left to him from Akael.)

Yugal: Hmmm, these instructions seem easy enough. Unload the body parts,
douse with spirit water, rinse, repeat. Nothing to it.

(Yugal dumps the contents of a rune-covered bag, all over the forest floor.
Body parts from different creatures fall out of the bag. The pelt of a wolf,
a rabbit roast, fur of a raccoon, the skin of a bear, and so forth)

Yugal: Alright, seems I got everything here, lets begin.

(Yugal begins the process of reviving the dead animals. One by one the
various animal parts begin to grow, and form the proper limbs, muscle tissue,
and organs. A polar bear rears back on two legs, growling. A raccoon goes
into a defensive position. A rabbit moves quickly from tree to tree. The
piranha flops on the ground, slowly dying on its own. The skin of a bear..
.remains a skin of the bear!!!)

Yugal: Wait a minute, whats wrong here! Why isn't the bear returning to
life?

(As Yugal considers this question he reaches for his flask of brandy and
takes a sip. A puzzled look crosses Yugal's face, as he spits the contents
in his mouth onto the ground)

Yugal: That ain't brandy! This stuff is foul, this stuff is bitter...wait
a minute, this stuff is spirit water. Which means my brandy must be...

(Yugal takes a good long look at the skin of a bear)

Yugal: Oh man, I don't got enough time to get another flask of spirit water.
The deadline for this quest is approaching. Theres got to be another way to
get this bear moving, and quick. The other animals are getting restless and
want to fight! I got it!

*****5 MINUTES LATER*****

(A shape can be seen from behind a tree jumping up and down)

Yugal: *grunt* *curse* *growl*

(Slowly Yugal steps out from behind a tree, wearing the skin of the bear,
with the head overtop of Yugal's own head like a hood.)

Yugal-Bear: ROOOOOOOOAAAAARR*cough**hack**Wheeze*rRRrrRr. Alright, no way
anyone will know I am dressed up in the bear skin. Okay let the Annual Animal
Wrestling Match begin! Free for all, last man...I mean animal standing wins!

(All the animals stare each other down, the wolf is the first to make its
move, lunging for the Eltor, and clamping its jaws around its throat. The
polar bear swats at the snake, trying to crush it in one blow without being
biten. The rabbit and the raccoon, grapple each other rolling around, trying
to get in a killing blow. The piranha continues to flop around, left alone
for now.

Yugal-bear looks around, trying to find his greatest opponent, looking for the
top competition, trying to find who would be most worthy of an opponent to
him. Then he sees his victim. They meet in a deadly gaze, holding in for
several moments, Yugal-bears opponent makes a lunge for Yugal-Bears left, but
Yugal-Bear raises his foot and ***STOMP*** with one mighty blow Yugal-Bear
crushes a firefly beneath his foot. Then holds his arms up in victory, and
howls in victory)

Yugal-Bear: ROOOOOOOAAAR

(Yugal is cut short as he begins to choke on his own saliva, and begins to
hold his own throat, and cough loudly. Meanwhile the wolf finishes off the
Eltor, and goes to finish off both the rabbit and the raccoon, in several
quick bites. The polar bear can been seen crushing the snake beneath a
massive paw. Then sits down on the salamander, making quick work of that.
And the piranha...well the Piranha, continues to flop around on the ground)

(With 4 animals left, the polar bear and wolf quickly engage in combat. The
wolf using it superior speed to its advantage to avoid to paws of the polar
bear. The polar bear tries desperatly to land a blow on the wolf. The wolf
lunges in at the polar bear trying to grab hold, but can't penetrate the polar
bears thick fur, and thick hide. Quickly the polar bear wraps its to claws
around the wolf and begins to squeeze, putting the wolf into a massive
polar-bear-hug. Yugal-Bear can be seen leaning over hands on knees, taking
deep breaths. The Piranha, is doing what the Piranha does best on land, and
flops around.)

(Finally with the wolf squeezed of its last breathe, the polar bear begins to
make its move on Yugal-Bear. Yugal seeing the approaching polar bear, backs
off towards a tree)

Yugal-Bear: Good teddy bear! Nice teddy bear! Teddy bear want some fish!
mmMMmmMMmm fish, just right over there.

(Yugal-Bears words have no affect on the polar bear as it closes in, then
rises to its two feet. It holds one hand up high, and begins to swing. At
the same time Yugal-Bear crouches into a fetal position closes his eyes, and
hold his hands up)

Yugal-Bear utters the words, 'Harm'.

(Oh so slowly Yugal-Bear open up one eye, looking around, then opens up his
other eye. In front of him on the ground lies the corpse of a polar bear,
with a nasty wound on his chest. Yugal-Bear gets up on his feet, dusting his
hands off, with a smirk on his face)

Yugal-Bear: Maybe I should tell this part of the story a little differently.
Yeah if anyone ask I engaged the polar bear, claw to claw, we went back and
forth for a little while, but eventually I overpowered him...Yeah thats what I
tell anyone should they ask.

(Yugal-Bear looks around at the carnage around him, eight corpses are
scattered around, and only two animals remain. The yugal-bear, and the
Piranha.)

Yugal-Bear: One quick deathblow and the Annual Animal Wrestling Match is all
mine!

(Yugal-bear walks over to the Piranha, and reaches down to squeeze the life
out of it. At least that was the plan. As Yugal-bear reaches in close, the
piranha flops up in the air, and chops down on Yugal-Bears claw/finger.)

Yugal-Bear: *High pitched girlish scream*

(Yugal-Bear runs around the forest frantically with the Piranha still firmly
attacked to his digits, he continues to run around in circles waving his hand
around crying for someone to help him. He tries to cast spells but cannot
concentrate, he swings the piranha against a tree, but ends up hurting his
hand more then the Piranha! Eventually the Piranha starts to lose its grip,
and releases the bite, in order to get a more secure bite higher up on the
claw/finger. Yugal-bear however manages to pull his finger out of the
Piranha's mouth, and the Piranha falls back to the ground, flopping around.
Yugal-Bear holds his thumb trying to stop the bleeding.)

Yugal-Bear: *whimpering* Aww man this could be infected, its my good finger
too, this is the one I use to poke the homeless with, aww man, I need to get
this looked at right away.

(Yugal-Bear runs back north into darkhaven to seek medical attention, and gets
disqualified from the wrestling match. Making this years winner of the Annual
Animal Wrestling Match. The one, the only, the guppy with the grin, the
flopping menance, the Piranha!)